Interiors & Childhood: Conjuring Up A Vision of Home

I've been reimagining how we connect with and relate to our Homes. I capitalize Home because it isn't just a physical space or spaces, it's directly linked to our mindset around being supported and cared for. It's attached to the subconscious and unconscious parts of our minds which is both complex and beautiful to explore. Over the last 5 years, I had to come to terms with what Home has meant to me and what Home gets to be now.

Honestly, growing up, I didn't feel at home.

I felt othered like something was wrong with me because I couldn't seem to settle in. I'd lived in my childhood home for 15 years and the only space that seemed to cradle me was my bedroom. When I took time to reflect, the truth is, I didn't have any other space, physically and energetically speaking, to welcome me like my room. I remembered that I didn't have a dedicated sleeping space when I visited family-- I spent nights on a sofa or in a sleeping bag. As a teen, I started to feel like an afterthought and a burden because of this and other parts of my experience during that time. My bedroom was able to hold me because I was able to express myself there and I didn’t have to try to be anything other than who I was, without ridicule.

“So many parents are puzzled when their children seclude themselves in their room and refuse to leave their sanctuary.”

-“The Awakened Family” by Shefali Tsabary

I'm sharing this with you because that experience, that truth, is a big part of why I felt called to create Energetics of Home. This offering is much like the traditional design consultation, but with an added layer of depth to help others connect more deeply to what they need to feel stable, secure, and supported in their lives. Our Homes are our energetic foundation allowing us the grounding to grow and to show up fully in our lives to live a truly fulfilling life.

“Sometimes I conjure up the neighborhood as more mythical than real and I let my memories have their way because there is an understanding to be gained in the mythical too—a way to get at a truth that can’t be reached any other way.”

-“This Is the Place” by Margot Kahn

Creating The Home We Need

Reflecting on the things we loved and found comfort from as children shows us the purest expressions of who we were and our interests from back then show us a piece of our bare minimum wants and needs in our current homes and lives.

The process of creating the Home we need without having clear guidance on what that actually includes and looks like can be disorienting. We'll have to dream a little bit and start with where we are and with what we have. While I want to include the material aspects of the Home I’m stressing the intention, habitual responses, and root causes that set the energetic tone and direction.

What I Noticed As An Interior Designer

I've encountered design clients who loved the designs we created together, and stated they felt comfortable with the budget we created together but had a hard time committing to the execution.

Something was holding them back.

But it wasn’t my place to dig deeper.

I could feel there was a disconnect that was beyond what I could help them with at the time. I was sifting through my own meaning of Home.

It’s still hard for many to dive deeper, but if a client is willing to be transparent with you about what home truly means to them, it makes the connection between designer and client strong, as with any relationship. As interior designers, we are truly designing a space that reflects their “interior” and their inner, authentic self. Their space is truly a reflection of them and if not careful, it can reflect a false self which causes the client to change their mind often because it doesn’t feel “right”. It happens. That’s why both of my offerings, Energetics of Home and Visionary Revamp exist.

An important part of the client intake process and beginning stages of the relationship is to make the client feel at ease, to let their hair down, and to truly “get” them when they are expressing their needs and wants. The way that I go about this is by guiding them through their Human Design & Astrological birth chart.

deep-rooted blocks

In my own journey of creating Home for me and my family, I had to step back and see what had been holding me back, too. Mostly, it was this intruding thought:

"Do I deserve to do this? Can I actually afford to do this"

Deep down, it was about worthiness.

It was about feeling worthy of experiencing pleasure, delight, and support.

There are many parts of our story that holds us back from committing to receiving this kind of support and it stems from the roots of our family dynamics including the values, beliefs, and thought patterns we’ve inherited. With the world going through a deep, complex transformation it’s important to focus on what will aid us as we weather the storm that has been brewing. There’s a chance your childhood didn’t feel at home so as an adult you started subconsciously, creating a space that resembled it energetically.

We wear false masks to “fit in with society” but when you bring that false mask home with you, who are you then? Who are you really when who you are is unrecognizable? How can you express yourself if you are not even being authentic and creating from a position of integrity and honesty, with yourself? How can you truly feel at home when you are coming home with a stranger? How can you create a home based on a false personality and expect your true self to feel at home? 

“To lose our connection with the body is to become spiritually homeless. Without an anchor we float aimlessly, battered by the winds and waves of life…Of all the losses rupturing the human soul today, this alienation may be the most alarming because it separates us from the very roots of existence.”

- “Eastern Mind, Western Body” by Anodea Judith

I’ve seen it, been raised in it, and I’ve reenacted it. No one in my immediate circle growing up truly felt at home because they didn’t know who they really were outside of their external world roles. They didn’t always admit it, but you could tell. Their internal world clashed hard with their external world which created confusion and messed up values in the material, physical world. I love interior design, I love beautiful spaces and good design cannot happen without intention and connection. Buying and consuming things we don’t really love or need just to fill space is just not it. It’s not healthy for your body, mind, and spirit. 

That’s why I’m passionate about reimagining the concept of Home. By truly understanding your needs and wants in order to make conscious decisions in alignment with your purpose and journey here. We can have amazing spaces, but will it satisfy your Spirit?

Interior Design & the Inner Child

Here are some key thoughts I have about connecting our childhood with the way we plan and design our interiors:

• Analyzing Interior design as a pathway to inner child healing (this topic is what inspired me to start my podcast)

• Embracing creative self-expression in your environment

• Analyze your comfort zone- something about “tradition” makes you feel at home, reminds you of your childhood home environment, or provided a space where you had your needs met and you felt fully seen

The way a space is designed is sacred to that particular individual or household. It’s the real reason newlyweds feel the urge to merge their styles together to find a common ground. Though it seems to be just aesthetics, there’s a deeper inner need to feel safe, secure, and stable in an environment that reflects parts of who you authentically are beyond the surface. There are keys being translated in the tone and vibration of the words that can be intuitively heard but may not logically be able to explain. With tools like Astrology and Human Design, we finally have the language to piece together and explain what is intuitively felt.

If you are feeling called to explore your energetic blueprint to create a deeper connection with your Home, I’d love to be a guide for you. Energetics of Home is a wonderful place to begin seeing your needs wants and values in a new light. You’ll walk away with a new perspective on how to allow your Home to support you and begin to incorporate elements that improve your connection.

If you are looking for spiritual mentorship, Visionary Revamp is a wonderful container where we’ll dive deeper into your energetics to help you get clear on your unique vision and journey. This is wonderful for my fellow cycle breakers and mothers who desire support and space-holding from someone on the journey. With Astrology & Human Design, we’ll work together to get clear on the direction you’re on and utilize tools to help you such as visualization, journal prompts, mental reframing, divination (tarot/oracle cards), and year-ahead reports.

If you’re not sure which offer is for you, feel free to schedule a free 30-minute Clarity Call with me to see what’s right for you and get to know each other a little bit!

Take Care,