EPISODE #1 The Birth of Visionary Revamp
I’m trying something new this week by adding audio to this blog post to assist those with hearing/visual impairment and other challenges to be able to receive what I share more effectively.
I’ve been sitting with Visionary Revamp, the concept of it, for three years now. Actually, I started to share it back in 2020, but back then, I was still receiving more insights about what it wanted to be. Living the life of a creative artist means the vision may not always be clear and definitely not right away. Like a painting on a canvas, there are layers of imagery before the final product is revealed and the work can be called, “done”.
Visionary Revamp came to me as an insight while I was taking a shower back in 2019. The initial drip of the concept was a visualization of physical space in NYC that I would rent out. I pictured a three-story brownstone somewhere in NYC, maybe Brooklyn, where each floor had a specific purpose. I saw a space that catered to the mind, body, and spirit of women through massages, yoga sessions, a cafe with nourishing meals like how I experienced at SoJo spa in New Jersey, and opportunities to co-work and have child-care. For centering and catering to Black and brown women first and foremost. Spaces like this already exist, but usually not including all of these items.
At the top of 2020, I was referred to a client who contacted me and introduced me to a project that lit me up inside. It was so similar to the vision I had for physical wellness space, but I wasn’t prepared financially to tackle it myself.
I thought, “How awesome would it be to help
someone create this much-needed space?”
Then, I thought to myself for a moment,
“But what about your dream? Your vision?”
And I was a little confused about answering that. I just really wanted to see the vision come to life even if it wasn’t totally the way I saw it. I figured I could still make it happen when the time was right. Yes, my concept was pretty much the same as hers, but the location and the focal points were different. The vision may have dropped into both me and her and was waiting to see what we’d create from it or if we were even willing to accept the vision.
It reminded me of the book I had listened to on Audible. It’s called, “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert. In the book, she speaks about another author, Ann Patchette, who seemingly enough, had received the same idea for a book as Elizabeth. The thing is they lived in two different parts of the country and never spoke about the idea when they met in person for the first time. They were pen-pals for a while and planned a time to meet up again when Ann revealed the book idea she had, identical to Elizabeth’s idea.
What Elizabeth said made the most sense: they were both given the chance, by God, the Divine, whomever you associate with as a Higher being, to bring this idea to life. Elizabeth had the idea first but put it to the side for a couple of years and soon met Ann who had accepted to be the co-creator for this project. I found out the book idea they shared was later called, “State of Wonder” which was Ann’s best-selling novel.
Me and that client for the wellness space project didn’t end up moving forward after she had a family emergency and had to postpone. I never heard from her again even after following up. I take it as a sign that I just needed to see that this concept was worth pursuing.
The Journey Here
I've been on this self-discovery journey for over 4 years now, since 2017. When I started on this journey, I was searching for who I was and who & what I came from. I was coming back home to myself by releasing a huge weight, a feeling I described in a journal entry in 2019 as a tumor removed from within my body.
I told my truth to the people I thought would reject me. I had vowed earlier in life that I'd keep it to myself til the day I died until I witnessed almost losing my mom.
I was so numb.
Numb from sitting in the hospital alone with my mom who was barely conscious and unable to speak for herself. I had to repeat all I knew for 24 hours, I had to make a risky decision on her behalf and prayed she wouldn't become disabled.
I prayed.
I surrendered.
I was pulled in so many directions for five (5) days. I literally witnessed the underbelly of the mess that existed within my family dynamic for decades, maybe centuries. I witnessed what needed extreme changes and what could no longer exist. I witnessed myself back in a situation so scary because it put me back in a place where I had been as a child.
As I child, I couldn't save myself, but as an adult, I remembered I didn't have to stay in that space or situation anymore.
I could change my reality.
I could leave.
I just had to choose me.
And that is the hardest fucking decision I made that caused a domino effect of so much transformation.
I experienced so much pain and joy at the same time in 2018 and 2019. I lost connection to the rest of my maternal family, but it wasn't really a loss because I was now able to breathe and no longer feeling like I had to walk on eggshells.
That's why I never felt I belonged as a kid.
I don't belong in a dynamic that made me believe there was something wrong with me because I saw things differently or because they couldn't handle the dire reality that our foundation was broken, breaking, and crumbling.
It’s been etched away from years of ignoring it.
It’s Time To Review
I realized Visionary Revamp is so important as we navigate this current landscape, more than I originally thought. I came to this conclusion because what we see and what we want is not always effectively communicated through words and actions. A lot of that, I feel, stems from the lack of understanding the actual meaning and energy behind the words we use to describe what we see. Mostly it’s because words are shared through speech and then new meanings are formed based on how it’s most commonly used in conversations.
Because of that, the vision doesn’t always align with the words and action. Being crystal clear of the vision is important and so are the words we speak, which are intentions, and the actions we take. If our intentions are distorted, using words with sarcasm or using the wrong word to describe how you really feel, the actions won’t be a vibrational match.
The Power of Dreams
I had a dream where I was in a room like a library or a study with African artifacts on the table and on shelves. My dad was there talking to someone. I moved closer to the artifacts to examine them. I don’t remember what prompted me to do this, but someone asked me about an event and I demonstrated how a kangaroo kicks with its hind legs.
Obviously, I don’t have a tail so I did a jump with two feet in the air.
My dad saw and said excitedly,
“Wow! How’d you do that? Be careful”.
Then I was prompted to do it again so I did and my dad responds,
“Woah... be careful you’re going to hurt yourself…”
and I said to him, “I trust myself!”
So, when I woke up, I realized the African artifacts in the dream symbolize those who came before us leaving behind resources, leaving behind evidence of their existence. A kangaroo kicks with its hind legs, but with the support of its tail; it’s a firm, strong foundation. When we are supported and have a firm, strong foundation, we can accomplish some scary stuff.
Connecting the two realizations would show the importance of creating a firm spiritual connection with your ancestors and elders, honoring them and speaking with them, asking for guidance, and trusting them and yourself to follow through. That connection can aid you in times of uncertainty.
Visionary Revamp sheds light on the impact of learning your unique birth chart as a way to connect to yourself and to your lineage— yup, your birth chart shows your family dynamic.
Live & Learn
A lot of us had to learn a lot of stuff on our own and experience things that the people around us couldn’t help us with. That can and is pretty isolating and can make you second-guess yourself because it’s all so foreign and you wonder if you’re doing it right. The truth is if it feels good in your gut, in your spirit, you gotta follow that. Even if others tell you they can’t see the vision you are trying to explain, to have to follow the vision and be okay that they can’t see it because they aren’t meant to.
Going first and making big changes means stepping into the unknown and having unshakeable faith. You have to hold on to the vision. Not too tightly, but enough that it continues to motivate you to keep going as it begins to get more and more clear as you take steps towards it. You will absolutely feel unstable in the process as you try to make sense of things and as you deconstruct the concepts you’ve always followed. To have something new, you have to do something new.
Mental wellness and spiritual wellness are vital. The same goes for your emotional and physical wellness. Your nervous system and your mind will take a huge hit as you peel back the layers of the stories of what things should look like until you start to see what is right for you and you’ll literally feel it. You’ll start to see the changes in your life, too. It takes time, it takes commitment, and consistency. However, consistency does not mean constancy. You can and should take breaks to rest, enjoy the fruits as they unfold, and enjoy the in-between space, the process, and the journey of becoming.
Recommit To Your Vision
Visionary Revamp is such an important mission for me because I feel so passionate about helping others receive the support they need to make necessary changes. It’s so much easier to have like-minded people in your corner as you start to integrate the lessons you learn on your journey. I know what it feels like to feel alone in a house full of people. I know what it feels like to not feel like anyone understands what you are going through, but not necessarily that they don’t care to understand just they haven’t been called to do what you are doing. They can’t see things how you see things and they can’t understand it because it’s not their vision.
Visionary Revamp is for the visionaries who feel like they are meant to create big changes in this world and need some support or guidance as they decondition their minds from how society says they should move and step into their own sovereignty. As you grow and learn, you are supposed to reach back and help others— this is my way of doing that. I can’t do the work for you, however, I can help hold you accountable to your goal.
As one of my favorite quotes from Maryam Hasnaa says, “A healer does not heal you. A healer is someone who holds space for you while you awaken your inner healer, so that you may heal yourself.”
I’ve connected with plenty of amazing women who have mentored me indirectly just by their willingness to share their stories, their challenges, and the wisdom they received from it all. I feel it’s time for me to start to do that, too.
If you are interested in working with me, I’ll be opening up Visionary Revamp, a consultation/ guidance session where you’ll receive a brief analysis of your birth chart and the basic fundamentals of your Human Design type to create a space that is energetically aligned with who you are and how your energy is best expressed & supported. Your true sanctuary lives beyond your physical space(s), it lives within you.
(Edited April 27, 2023: This offering has since evolved into something much more since this blog & episode were published. Visionary Revamp is a 12-week container for deep integration of your chart with 1:1 mentorship to help women and mothers create an aligned life that supports and replenished them. It’s also a resource hub for those on their spiritual journey desiring a space to be seen, heard, and amplified.)
**This offering is not limited to interior design clients— designers can benefit from this information, too! This offering allows you to do what you do in a way that embraces your authentic nature.
take care.
